Fri. Feb 3rd, 2023

A few years ago, when I was doing career counseling, I often asked my clients if it was better to spend their lives as a wedding planner or divorce lawyer. The question was asked with the understanding that all interests would be equal. With the exception of some young women who considered the role of a wedding planner in society attractive and romantic, the vast majority of individuals chose the role of divorce lawyer.

The reason for asking the question in the first place was not to tend to choose a more process-oriented role, but to get a perspective on the client’s event-oriented professional role.

For many readers, the distinction between events and processes may not be important in the career selection process, but the ultimate satisfaction of many individuals in career selection is determined by this very distinction. I found out. I also believe that this distinction is somewhat important in determining satisfaction with retirement choices regarding the use of time at the end of a career and, in fact, at the end of life.

An example of a person who prefers an event-oriented professional role is an assembly line worker whose job is to screw nuts into bolts and the rest of the assembly is done further down the line. In contrast to the activities of quality control managers, quality control managers must make decisions throughout the manufacturing process to maintain product quality from the day the product is invented until it is sold to the customer. ..

Over the last 60 years, I have interviewed hundreds of people about their retirement satisfaction. The majority report that retirement enjoyed shopping, fishing, golf, watching TV, listening to music, walking, etc., but now they enjoy the freedom of choice. Time and place to enjoy these activities.

The only caveat I often hear is that old activities aren’t as interesting as they used to be, and it seemed frustrating to have to choose a way to spend new time.

From an early age, they are taught to look forward to elementary, junior high, high school, college, graduate school graduations, wedding days, children’s births, job promotions, retirements and even funerals.

Add to these Christmas, Easter, First Communion, other religious family holidays, and events in the lives of other family and friends. So isn’t it strange that we can’t recognize the “process” for the rest of our lives?

Not long ago, a friend of mine asked, “How do you do it?” I couldn’t understand his question and asked him to clarify. “You’re almost 84 years old and have had serious health problems for years, but you just keep going, as if there were no restrictions.” My answer to him was:

“Make sure that there have been many times in my life where I was depressed or failed and I wasn’t sure if I could continue. Sometimes terribly cruel, thinking of giving up or committing suicide, trying to persuade us to throw a towel, but if we are told that we are loved and believe in it, “thank you” and ” You may live a life of “faith”. I am blessed with parents who have loved me deeply from an early age, and friends who have taught me the theological direction to see life as an evolving process of discovery and adventure later in life. I did. As a result, I am blessed, a risk taker, a lifelong learner, and an explorer, trying to discover what works for me and what is meaningful and fulfilling in my life. bottom. I was blessed to believe that God had a plan for my life and was free to accept or reject it. This filled my life with a deep sense of purpose in something far beyond me. I may be the main beneficiary of living such a life, but the joy and love of living for something far beyond me, far greater than me, finds the brutality and trauma of life It gave me the motivation and impetus to “go up” for the hope and comfort of moving forward. “

In the next 22 years, I would like to complete my last project in my life, Elder’s Voice, with the tagline “Give voice to those who have no voice and heal those who are broken.” This is a large project and I need all the help I can get. If you are interested in adding a “process” to your life, please email me with all your contact information. Rest assured, it’s all treated in secret. My contact information is included as part of this article. If I do not personally contact you within the next 4 weeks, please resend the email. Thank you and God’s blessing!

Robert Olsson is an idyllic counselor and family therapist specializing in geriatric issues.He invites comments and speech invitations at

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